Simple Pleasures of Playing God, badly
Well my stint with Off-Road Velociraptor Safari has pretty much been over for a while, but, lucky readers, I’ve discovered another free game that’s easily as pointless and stupid and equally fun to play drunk. It is called “Spore Creature Creator” and if you search for that on the Internet I’m sure you’ll have no trouble finding it, you clever sprat.
The purpose of this game appears to be (I’m the first to admit that I have not read the readme) to create little cutmonsters and golliwogs of all shapes and sizes and other such creatures that shouldn’t exist (either physically, or for reasons of humanity, because their lives would be a constant cruel painful struggle).
After playing God, watch your hideous creations scuttle around the screen, dancing, jumping, or just attempting to perform basic functions like walking, all for your sadistic enjoyment.
There’s my Golliwog lookin’ cute!
That’s my Cutmonster, laugin’ with its cutty babies! Also, it flies.
And this is the Scuttlebeast. It’s two stories tall, has five mouths, one leg, four eyes, and two Charm organs. Clearly, the Scuttlebeast shouldn’t exist.
Photobooth at the Bonehouse Spooktacular: behind the scenes
Things went smoothly, but there were some behind the scenes problems, resulting in about 20 minutes of total downtime throughout the night and about six messed up photos. Booth operated for around five hours and sixty successful prints were made. The fastest time between prints was four minutes, something which could be improved.
A common problem is that the fourth photo from the previous set creeping into the next set of photos – something to do with the lag time between taking a picture and it being processed by the computer, must look into that. Sometimes the first print after loading new paper would print out “all funny”.
In the end, the biggest problems were not technical but logistical, i.e. drunk bitches taking like five pictures in a row, adding to the already long-ass line. The problem that did us in was rather inexplicable – in the programming, we have recorded mouse movements and keyboard strokes to work the various programs, and after five hours of being in service, the computer just started doing them really really slow. Not like it was running slow, but it was moving the mouse on its own, moving it really slow. It’s annoying to try to halt the workflow when it’s in that phase too, because you have to fight with your program for control of the mouse. All it would have taken to keep the booth going was us restarting the computer and reopening the programs, but the technicians were far too drunk to be bothered.
Things for the next party (on the 22nd):
1) Load a set amount of photopaper so that we can better anticipate running out instead of winging it.
2) Post rules (i.e. drunk bitches only allowed one photo at a time, drunk bitches shouldn’t try to load ink, etc.)
3) Make an Automator action that sets up the photobooth for us (right now we have to open all the programs, move the windows to the right places, delete certain files, etc.)
4) Change the numbering system so it’s easier to get them chronological – right now the ID number is seconds past midnight, but that gets hell a confusing when A) midnight passes and B) it’s daylight savings and there are two 2AMs.
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PROPER PHOTOBOOTH USE
DRUNK BITCHES, FOURTH PIC
Thought this was a glitch. Nope. Misleading.
YT
Example of the “fourth photo” glitch.
Bad Omen
As we were leaving Palisades II, my old apartment complex, after four members of our party had taken bites out of an In N Out burger that fate left for us on the ground (and one of them swallowed), we found these two birds on the ground. I admit that I kicked the one on the bottom.
Chili Perez
Chili Perez
(2003-2006)
Loving Friend and Wingman
“Because I have loved life, I shall have no sorrow to die.”
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